Thursday, 29 January 2015

Uma outra razão, ainda

Vamo-nos dar ao esquecimento?
Isso talvez seria mais um processo.
Outra coisa que não temos, nem podemos querer.
Ou podemos querer, mas não creremos que acontecerá disto.
Se acontecer – se acontecêssemos.
Outra vez. Ou esquecimento.
Vamo-nos mais longe, ainda.
Ao desejo, que não é um processo, mas um encontro.
Connosco próprios.
Aquilo que, enfim, nunca se poderá esquecer.

Friday, 23 January 2015

I have ambiguous thinking

Not that I should know, not that I would be, not that I could. Nor that. And certainly not. But there are. Of these times. Things for me to make sense. Any sense is my own. Nothing makes the most, but of many things, most of which. Taken literally, I am. But in a very lateral sense, a pastiche of the globe has reasons, and plenty for me. Not that I should know, not that I would be, even if I could. And with the sincerity of an explanation. A unity. I cannot hold, have, handle, hack, hassle, haze, hand, held, hold. I should not. But for you. I would. If any. Of you.

Could make sense.
I should not.

Monday, 19 January 2015

The state of things

The world was quite flat again, today. I do not believe in progress like the others do. Stasis and platitude - this is what I see.

Friday, 9 January 2015

A writer in love

If I could craft a sentence that would be you; I will have had you, forever. Though I have no necessary idea as to what this has for its purpose, or whether this purpose could become and end at all, through an in itself becoming. And if it is this miss-encounter of words and thoughts that happens now, it must be because I have nothing I can say, and my whole being as this person who writes and writes to be, may have therefore nothing else to be, but to do what he is not, any longer: all that he is, undoing himself in. A sense of life expired through a passion misunderstood in its more serious inexpressions. There is only now everything else to become inspired by: now that this life of mine is the least sincere, the most inauthentic. Whilst you are to be the last thing missing amid the perfect encounters of my words – and that I should consist to make myself absent, in turn – we could then begin to appear in how we are not, as I will have written everything else, instead. And only then perhaps, for the fault of an endless purpose, and for the impassioned mistakes that can mean his better expression, this writer will have found his way home, to you.

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

A loveless form of Love

And at some point it will be just the continuation of this feeling until I lose its source and its real meaning. I will be imprisoned by it, without the knowledge of its traces and its lost breaks and breaches. I will learn to identify myself by its spanning intensities, and later realise that I am meaningless without it, but, by itself, it is meaningless, too. It will become everything I can and everything I will, unto nothing and from nothing, nowhere. I will be compelled under the forceful image of its dictating behaviours and appearances, to comply as such with this vast organism of being-as-such, without ever having the comfort of a ground from which to carry this obsequious compulsion through. This is the ultimate fear to be derived from the zeal, the passion, and the paradoxically overwhelming torpor of love: how its warm and keen breath will dampen the pages of memories, signs and experience, unto a humidified smudge of unreadable material, unto a shapeless shape of something just being, being just the something which it is. And to call it love, because it also is.

How I may relate myself, to myself, if there is no one else, at all.

I am... I am. I suppose. I suppose - that - I am. Quite simply - that - I am.
I am a large space of reverberant feeling. I am a combination of echoes, each one of them indistinguishable from the others. I am an unsteady spectacle of hidden beliefs, desires and pure passion, trying to operate itself amid the contradictory circumstances. I am an animal, a good liar, and a bad individual. I am a cage for my will, an incarcerating personality for all the things I want to be. I am life and death, split down the middle, staring profoundly into each other's eyes, perhaps slowly moving to an impassioned affair, of which some bastard child will follow, whom I shall name Fate, for I lack a better vocabulary than the oldest mythologies. And with Fate I pursue a relationship of love, geographically nurtured through the zones of my life I have already had to abandon.
I suppose that I am - as I have always been - somewhere between this all-of-life-at-once and this possibly-death-at-any-moment, feeling unremittingly everything that is remaining, still.
Still-to-be-here. I am.

How can I know there is nothing, instead?

A fatalism without fate.
This time has not been kind to me. But it has been the kindest time.
A kindness without kindness.
A kind of time, and a kind of fate. How similar in kind.
Dizzying experience of the same thing, only again.
How similar it has all since been. Since nothing stayed.
I am where we started, but not here. How unfamiliar.
Time bends, carries and disbands.
No feelings have felt the same since. Only one feeling.
The lack of a metaphor. A fully metaphorical experience.
Then we have been, together, as this fatalism.
A fate, in time, only similar to its more familiar kind.
A dizziness like kindness.

Monday, 5 January 2015

A love in the form of Joana

I have recognised a new sort of loneliness, after you. 
Since we left so soon into the intensity.
This new sort of loneliness tells me how far away I am from you.
Since it was an intensity I had never expected to know,
It is the worst loneliness I could have never expected.
I know now what it is to be lonely:
Lonely in oneself,
Because you have the rest of me.
My only hope is that I have kept some of you, in turn.

Sunday, 4 January 2015

A Madrugada do Novo Ano

À Joana, de Almada

Quando o novo acontece, de onde vem, e o que do velho gera a novidade do seu próximo momento? E se nós nos encontrássemos assim, dentro das novidades, o que antes nos fez encontrar assim?

Falamos de uma possibilidade, porque tanto mais provada a falta de razão.

Começámos pela possibilidade, por não ter havido mais, nem menos, que nós.

Por razão não haver. Nem começo em si.

E as coisas que quisemos entender. As verdades confusas e prévias, sem verdade de previamente estarem. Entendíamos, por enquanto, uma situação.

Entre nós. E as coisas.

Ah, mas que falar de coisas naturais, introduzindo-as, para negá-las seguidamente… dando tudo somente por tirar seu sentido? Feito à nossa imagem. Fazendo à nossa imagem: que coisa sem natureza própria que soubemos ser.

As coisas que depois aconteceram. Entre nós.

E da desnatureza de tudo, ainda outra vez, ou talvez pela primeira – de todos os tempos, igualmente possíveis como possibilidades – estou mediante o processo intrínseco de perder a imagem de ti. Talvez, ainda, e pela primeira vez, outra vez, reencontrá-la-ei num sonho que agora antecipo sem estranheza. Dada, como a verdade tirada do futuro sentido desnecessário do razoável.

Já que fomos, das coisas todas. Só nós.

Coisas que trocámos. Por falta de natureza própria. Sei ambos divergir e não cometer – absolutamente nada. Fico comigo próprio, intrinsecamente, dentro das palavras que, de facto, e por troca universal, imaginam a vontade que não sei expressar.

Tenho de fazer. Terei de ser. Ser-me. Por isto tudo. Sei que, só agora, talvez saberei.

Outras coisas.

De ti, por não te saber de qualquer maneira. Dentro desta outra troca toda, tornaste-te em palavras que farão novos sentidos, outros sentidos, todos os sentidos que aproximar-me-ão, de ti – porque jamais a ti vou poder ter, intrinsecamente.

Terei que ser. Talvez.

Comecemos de novo, e desta vez com a razão toda de recomeçar.

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

The Next Post

The conceptual explorations most communal throughout my writing, for your understanding of the greater intent:
Eliminative Absurdism |
Elemental Experimentalism |
Jocular Motorism |
Elemental Constitutionalism |
Deconstructualism |
Stylistic Autism |
Subjectivist Hedonism |
Mitigated Nihilism |
Bohemic Gratification |
Constructive Debauchery |
Compulsive Personification |
Ebrious Obfuscation |
Literary Charlatanism |
Insulated Confraternization |
Impregnated Solipsism |
Imaginative Foundationalism (_(|)_)
The empire of the irrational - if you are incapable of understanding irrationality, the insane, are too speculative on the margins intersecting the order and the disorder, then I suggest reading me as some form of logical parasitism. (_(|)_)
Articulation - the office of contracting stipulations without revealing the stitch-work. But the humoured are always left. (_(|)_)
Fact and Theory - result from the same operative faculty: observation. I write my own facts, to observe new differences. (_)

Friday, 29 March 2013

Drafts

We achieve prominence in the reduction of the spirit of the temporal, and thus pursue it as the collective temporally confined to exceed the other in favour of a heightened self, timed.

Is the image an imagination of the object internalised, or might it consist of the object inconsistent with the apparatus of extraction?

I am the humanism of intelligence, a methodical engager in the augmented attention to reality, the full engagement, the sole attention of the real in, the occupant of the intraducible concept of intelligent.

The object that has failed to engage the engaged is not a failed object. The only point of the object is to be pointed, nothing more.

Balance and symmetry are solely encountered through the procurement of the organicity they propose, by the belief in their existence, somewhere in the visible moment of their slight happening, then again vanished.

Conquisition

Definition.

I – The aspect of the conquered which was, except conquered, acquired in the effort of the conquest; purchased element of the victory.

II – The feature of the acquired that supposes to the purchaser the element of conquest, whereupon victory is particular to the exchange on the behalf of he who has purchased.

Replying to Contradicting

The polymorphous extension of my self-generative speculations, applied to a plethora of instances to cogitate, insofar as such generated cogitation would be speculative, must not be resumed to an unstable equilibrium of imminent contradictions. I contend, instead, that the apparentness of any contradiction is but the item of a performance inhabiting the indefinable multitude of the instance, in itself and repeated around the successive appearance of its apparentness. Fundamentally, the contradictory is a symbol of the possible without the possibility of ever being, continued within the possibility of ever being: a symbolic performance organised through the fertility of an insecurable logos.

Action as Acting

The action talks of itself as the methodical move towards itself; in the act, there is not simply action, yet altogether the coordination it assumes proposed from the priority of its chosen exchange. More so, there is an unattainable coincidence with the intention as active, the one that does not happen and the other that is all for itself avoided in the choice of the action that therefore becomes phenomenal.

For the writer, as artist

Writing has, for itself, an acquitting volatility which is perennial in surmising an unadulterated growth, beneath the suspenseful desire of the writer, through his writings as recognition of himself. However, this growth is interrupted, ceased indefinitely, whence the written can no longer be instructed as a peremptory self-image of he who has written. It is not happiness through an achievement; it is, rather, the consequence of self as through the endeavour to write. Expression is absent, exploration is final. And never promptly a will to self-explore; exportation would be more conscious than this.

The technological pharm.

It is a connection, without symbols. The sign in effect is the signature of the non-symbolic production of the attachment. The attached are an absence of the very connection attaching. There are no visible links and the sign becomes, as well, invisible together with the connected. The latter having nothing in this state.

Where is the art of having been?

My death will reach me in woken hours, in the loss of some consciousness sometime before the charged surrender. And that loss, the sole virtue of my possessive angst, should happen at the excited tenet of some empty achievement. What had I lost then that had not meant my current expiration? Some remorse... Where remorse is the discovery of a disrespected autonomy forged in the zenith of the unwilling.

Offering as Self-gesture

Offering is a founding attribute of the will to emerge as the object of the offer. As the subject, the instrument of the donated is reforming the sense of the self retained unto a submission that is outside the desire in the submitted, a turning of the self-presence to a presentation of the self represented in an undefined instance of self without.

For Her,

There, in the instant, I am confronted by my full insignificance; not in what is represented, but in what I leave between it and myself; the appearance not-coming, the apparentness of the not-coming and the revelation of my self to my self. In the act, I cease before the denouement.

I can give you nothing when giving means an offering of something I should have.

“I saw your prompted arrival, prompted there, here, prepared to avoid something.”

My arrival became explicit in the curiosity. As for her coming, by then I shall have returned to our meeting, cognizant of the practical implicitness of my precocious re-existence – whence the first was unintentionally proper, and the second a reattempting effect of the previous prepulsivity – within that envied parenthesis of ineffable reciprocity.

She had the exhausted desperation of a motivated sub-culture, existing in the periphery of itself, in the periphery it creates through peripheral laterality, under the positivity of a replacement.

You are the disquieting articulation of my sincerest regret. This devolution of time into a fraction of what it had been afore my position disorganised. The disorganisation of my ideal after you is a redemption for the hearts tormented by a terror unsustainable, but what of I, who had a nature of perfecting sensibility ahead of my movement, what have I to elaborate from this lax time? A memory to imagine, a remorse to defy with fabricated causalities, a truth to disprove with obvious fallacies and a self incomplete to fulfil with empty hours of tangential despair. I saw something poetic and real, and I obstructed it with an unreal disability… there, in the margins of my greatest fortune, amongst the will of an undying romanticism, I chose the unappeasing lethargy of an apparent schizophrenia, retained in two attitudes, the prepared separation of desire from fear. In their cohabitation, I inhabited the stationary occupation of a visionary existence that must never actually exist, lest the art of life becomes an artistic representation of the unliveable for the discontinuous dichotomy of concurrent being and non-being; the thought in the unthinking.

When can I miss you and miss you without the interruption of noiseless activity? These questions I have posed are asked of this space between us, which I have fought to occupy with my divorcing writing, but the echo is too vast and I have now heard too much. Everything but the answer…

I have misplaced her complexion... it is hard to recall every detail of her docile face... But I have had my chances to make something happen. I want to think about her all the time, though sometimes I forget to and it makes me sad that I spent a few moments without her in my mind. It hurts, but it is a beautiful, caring, pain that, after all, never really hurt me, only reminded me of something I lost by not even trying.

The revolt: the room, she had the hold, and the holding was but the opportunity to say something. I said nothing, and there she stood, posed.

On the Indifferences of Object and Subject

A Man primordialized in the essence of his in-acted subjectivity. At this point he is neither subject nor object, but the collection of what defines these things, and brings them about into their cognized self-appearance (an appearance of the perceptive qualities under which they so ensue and become somewhere between what they are and their intuited being in the perceptional act of the individual, and, from this, the whole of their intuited form).